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Where do you belong?

February 20, 2014

As I sit here writing this, I have brownies baking in my toaster oven and the kitchen is starting to smell wonderful. But you know what my heart keeps focusing on right now? Not the fact that I can’t wait to eat those brownies, but that I shouldn’t be having to bake anything in a toaster oven!  I should have a fully stocked, American-style kitchen with an oven that actually works properly. And all the ingredients I need to make the things I want to eat, instead of having to experiment and adapt recipes constantly. You know those days where you just start focusing on all that’s not right in your situation? I hate  strongly dislike days like those. Because I don’t want to be like that.  And thankfully most days aren’t like that. But some days it doesn’t seem to matter how much time I spend with God, or how often I ask Him to change my heart, I still find myself going back to those things that aren’t right. 

You want to know what words I have been listening to on repeat all morning? These:

Sometimes it feels like I’m watching from the outside
Sometimes it feels like I’m breathing but am I alive
I won’t keep searching for answers that aren’t here to find

All I know is I’m not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

So when the walls come falling down on me
And when I’m lost in the current of a raging sea
I have this blessed assurance holding me.

All I know is I’m not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

When the earth shakes I wanna be found in You
When the lights fade I wanna be found in You

All I know is I’m not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

How often I need this reminder! Because ultimately while there might be days when I might think that I belong in a country, in a state, far far from here [or I simply wonder where I do belong these days], truthfully, I don’t really belong there either. My real citizenship is in Heaven! And if you are saved, so is yours!

Do our lives really reflect this though? Could someone look at my life, at your life, and come away realizing that we really do believe what we say we believe? Or do our actions speak differently? As an American, my speech often gives away my citizenship. As soon as I try to speak in Russian, people can tell that I am not from here. Russians often tell me they can pick out all the Americans in a crowd simply by the way they are dressed. What do people say about the way you speak? The way you dress? You can say you believe anything, but do your actions back that up?

Where do you really belong? Does your life reflect that? This is a reminder that I need sometimes daily. There is so much to get caught up in in this world. So much to do, so much to see, so many people to meet, so many places to go…and yet…one day…none of this will matter. It won’t matter how many countries I traveled to, or how many amazing experiences I had. One day all that will matter is what I did with Jesus, if I gave my heart and life to Him [which I have] and what I did to tell others about Him.

That is all that will matter. When you die, you won’t care what kind of car you drove down here on this earth, and neither will I. You won’t care how much money you had and neither will I. All that you will care about in that day is what decision you made regarding Jesus and what you did to serve Him.

It is so, so easy to get caught up in things that don’t really matter. And while I would be the first to say I am definitely not against having fun, balance is so key to life and we must remember to keep the bigger picture in focus. Who cares if I have to bake brownies in a toaster oven? And who cares if I have to use sunflower oil instead of vegetable oil because they don’t sell it here and it makes my brownies taste strange?

[I am preaching to myself here, because I need this today]

Where do you belong? Where is your heart? Do your actions reflect that? The Bibles says that your treasure will be where your heart is. Is your heart and all your treasure found only on this earth? Or is your heart and your treasure in Heaven?

It’s so easy to lose perspective as life throws us curveballs and our path sometimes looks very different than we had imagined. [says the California girl who said she’d never live anyplace else but California. So God sent her to Wisconsin. And then Russia. Because He has a sense of humor like that.] I can’t explain how incredibly hard it is to hand your life’s script over to God and to give up all your plans and tell Him you will do whatever He wants and then step out in faith to follow through on that. Because you know what? He doesn’t just hand you back a rewritten script! He keeps the script and only shows you the next step as it arises. Do you know how hard that is for someone who is a planner by nature? Even though I gave Him the script [and have to continue to do so daily], my heart still wants to see the future all laid out. I know that if He showed me the future all at once I might keel over from a heart attack [believe me, there is no way my 17 year old self could have handled the thought of Russia. Or even grad school], and yet, I still want to know.

But…I know He knows and that is enough. My heart might not always agree with my head, but for those days where my heart stubbornly doesn’t want to follow, the knowledge that God is good, and all-knowing, and all-powerful is enough. The thought that an all-powerful, Creator God loves me and thinks uncountable thoughts of me [Ps 139:17-18] is overwhelming. How can any of us ever doubt Him?

Living by faith isn’t always easy, but I know from experience and from the Bible that it is the best way. So I choose to embrace these days of feeling like I don’t know where I really belong, because ultimately they simply remind me that no matter where I go on this earth, I don’t really belong here anyway.

And that is worth getting excited over!

So if your life’s script isn’t playing out the way you thought it would, or if God seems to be silent right now and you don’t know which path to take, don’t give up, friends. Remember that He is always good, and He alone sees the entire picture. And…we aren’t home yet. But one day we will be. And I can’t wait to forever worship Jesus with you!

One Comment leave one →
  1. February 20, 2014 1:18 pm

    Loved this post! And that song is now stuck in my head… 🙂

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