I’m not in love with my phone
I’m not in love with my phone. I don’t know where that will put me in the future, in this phone-centric world in which we live, the jury is still out on that one.
But I think I’m pretty much capable of cooking and consuming my own meals, tying my own shoes, and doing my own shopping. I don’t need an “app” for that. (I’ve spent the last 26 years perfecting those activities, and I think I can pretty much manage them on my own, thank you.)
Now texting and making phone calls? I haven’t been able to master those yet (sans phone), so there is still a definite need to own a phone. But that need is a small one, tucked away in a relatively minute corner of my universe.
I realize that in stating these truths about myself, I have rendered some of you speechless. Someone who is not professing their undying love for their phone? Gasp. I thought people like that had all gone the way of the 8-track and Pet Rocks!! (Nope, we’re still kickin’ over here.) Doesn’t she know that’s just what you do these days? You pick out the most expensive phone you can possibly find, in the hopes of impressing other people, and then you spend every waking moment downloading apps and staring longingly into the face of your beautiful phone and gushing about it to anyone who happens by. And if they don’t happen by, you simply wow people by using it to upload pictures and statuses to facebook, knowing that facebook will do you the honor of letting everyone know just how you posted that latest update.
Sigh, I know, I need to get a fancy phone so that I can impress people. Or so that I can run around waving it and pretending that I’m shooting people. Really, now that I think about it, I’m not sure how I have managed thus far without a phone that pretends to shoot people. That is one feature I’m pretty sure I’d use on a daily basis.
But okay, other than a phone that shoots people, I think I can manage the rest on my own, no apps necessary. But thanks though! Get back to me when they start being able to teleport people.
I might be interested then.